Dear fellow coma victims,

Indeed normalisation is a very slow process, I have concluded that the new pathways in the brain must learn everything again. Heel / Toe best and most pressing example. At the gym yesterday on the running machine I noticed even for that, it is the correct way for any movement with the legs. I actually am uncertain the new pathway wasn’t used for something else and it’s unnatural for leg operation. I still need a walking stick after more than 5 years but slowly less and less. I wonder at what age as children we develop a complete command of our body parts. At least not all pathways were destroyed by my coma, I’m imagining how bad it could be and probably is for many coma victims.

I always wonder about the non physical effects, like empathy or love etc, so many emotions to consider, are these feelings too located in parts of my brain that were damaged by coma? Then again I wonder if they are actually stored in the brain, maybe emotions (person to person) are in the environment by association and we access such feelings from there. Indeed we are learning much more about reality nowadays with the likes of ‘entanglement theory’. I can believe not everything relating to a humans existence is located in the brain. Am I still an ok person? The same or better or worse? Perhaps my experiences through this ordeal have changed my outlook in general, after all a man knows the things in life by experience. Am I equipped to process all experiences after coma? I can’t help to relate all this to computers having worked with them for so many years, have I lost a little RAM? Certainly my hard drive is a little damaged. Much of my data sensors still work, eyes and ears etc, maybe a little worse too. Medicine suggests we can reroute the brain, the organ can adapt to changes, I don’t know how doctors measure this ability. Through trial and error I suspect by the many coma and stroke victims that have gone before. I am no doctor but always try to recover, often consider it and the best approach to all actions. This is merely a record of my attempt and what I think has worked for me.

I sometimes look for approaches to recovery online, with anything at my disposal and enquire from doctors whenever I interact with them. It seems the brain hasn’t forgotten it’s disfunction, my ear problems Tinnitus and Meniere’s disease have returned a little among other things I previously had. They were both terrible before coma and I haven’t really had them just a little about 2 years after coma, my hearing and blocked ears bother me now but I’m often addressing it. Maybe the human brain does resemble a computer and I’ve been rebooted loosing my RAM at the time of reboot. Anyway the long and the short of this post is that we must use the brain to evaluate everything we do to rebuild it correctly. Pay attention to all actions, with every step and emotion. By my experience it is only by doing this that we improve towards normality whatever that is, what is truly normal for humans, we have defined it through laws and politics. Maybe we should become like Trump. Just a note a while later, my friend was advised to focus on heel toe after a leg injury, perhaps it’s a detail we all must be aware of, not just coma victims, something the brain must rehearse.