Scrawl

Before

When I came out of coma I had forgotten much of before, at first even my native language. I’m an English speaking Australian who knew a little German, the language I spoke when I first became conscious. Apparently I spoke it quite well, better than before. It amazes me I forgot how I think, we live in language. There are many stories of coma victims waking to speak previously unknown foreign languages fluently, like a first language. This fact makes me question coma more deeply, I too might have had experience in it. I have become fascinated by the non material world. This book is about consciousness, from the perspective of a coma victim. While there isn’t an accepted definition, we all intimately know consciousness, a state of being. How can the physical brain give rise to something of a completely different order, to perception and experience? I will try and remember my consciousness before coma in the reconstruction of self. My reboot was the result of a motorcycle accident. For me to remember past events makes them relevant to reconstruction, perhaps some contributed to my malaise.

Before, primarily I lived in the world of objects, coma has opened my eyes to the world of consciousness. We all have it, most people would agree that consciousness describes us best. Like the world of objects we are constantly immersed in it, Consciousness differentiates us from Artificial Intelligence. Perhaps I should explore the world of intelligence to more clearly understand how consciousness fits in. I think intelligence is derived from matter and provides for its logical comprehension, association and manipulation, objectivity. Subjectivity comes from consciousness, its keys are perception, experience, morality. I believe I always acted consciously aware, I tried to do the right thing and be good by my conception. Consciousness and intelligence are intimately linked as both do their thing in the non material world.

I have been interested in consciousness for some time, before coma I had a condition that also impeded it. Somehow I acquired Meniere’s disease, here is a description from Google search, Singapore 13th February 2023 :

“Meniere’s disease is a rare disorder that affects the inner ear. It can cause vertigo, tinnitus, hearing loss, and a feeling of pressure deep inside the ear.” 

Meniere’s is a physical condition of the ear that affected my perception, consciousness. It made it impossible for me to walk normally because of the vertigo. Sometimes I couldn’t even stand, at others there was no vertigo. I often had vague symptoms, the severity unpredictable, it could get much worse. It made life difficult, I couldn’t act freely, at will. I would have to wonder, what if I have an episode? They might occur many times a day, I was constantly aware of balance, vertigo. I could typically walk, but during a bad episode I couldn’t even stand. If well planned I could find a seat somewhere. I’d need to question where I might go, potential obstacles. Parties or large social gatherings were out of the questions. I had Meniere’s for around 3 years, it got progressively worse. Meniere’s had come to control my life, I couldn’t live normally. After a serious episode, full of frustration, I decided to take action and crashed a motorbike. Consequently coma for 3 months. 

Both conditions, Meniere’s and Coma, have led me to investigate consciousness. I have discovered it’s something we don’t biologically understand. Meniere’s is biological damage, the wear and tear of balance receptors in the ear. Something on which consciousness immediately depends. Meniere’s meant I couldn’t balance because of data. Coma was the temporary obliteration of consciousness, then its transformation. I think it cannot be derived from the brain, we don’t have a neuron for love. How is memory and experience given, by what neurology or matter? Today our understanding of the brain resembles the universe, is everything metaphor? We have scientific evidence that perception is fundamental to reality, perception is an act of consciousness. Some say the universe of matter is derived from consciousness, matter an epiphenomenon. Life is ideas, conception imposes.

 

Coma

Traveling I often rented a motorcycle, this time with purpose. It was a couple of years after the onset of Meniere’s disease, I rode carefully at first aware of the possibility of an episode at any moment. I would know when I was loosing balance, the throws of Meniere’s had become obvious. There were definite balance issue walking, I would become tentative. I could tell if I was normal, purposefully walking. At first there is also a sense of everything around you teetering.

I have ridden bikes all over the world, Europe, India, Asia, Africa, a great way to explore. Often I ride without a helmet, the wind in my hair. This time in Thailand, when I passed other vehicles I thought I could collide, but quickly thought again. I shouldn’t impact other people with my intended fate. On the second day in Thailand I had a strong Meniere’s attack on the beach, I had mild episodes all day, the worst on the beach where I had to lie down. Late that afternoon I went to my favourite bar on the island where I knew the owner, I had a couple of beers. Then back to the beach and a bar there for a couple more. Then I returned to my friends bar. In all just a few beers as I associated drinking with a time out, I was thinking. Eventually I went back to the hotel room, packed my things, locked my case and waited until early morning when nobody would be around. The roundabout was pretty desolate anyway on back roads, a boulder fit for purpose. Full of frustration with the disease, I saw no possibility of an unaffected life and decided to take action. I crashed into the roundabout boulder, an accident.

The health issue of Meniere’s disease was confronting for me, to lose immediate freedom. I felt trapped, in a kind of prison not being able to live as I always had, at will. I felt sub me, an approximation. A Meniere’s episode might mean I couldn’t stand wherever I was, if lucky I could sit. I’d need to factor in where we might go and obstacles, parties or large social gatherings out of the questions. Consequently the crash was no accident, in short it was deliberate. I can now remember crashing twice, the second time head first with apparent certainty. It seems life has other plans for me. First thing in the morning I would struggle out of bed with dizzy spells, holding walls to the kitchen to make breakfast. I might want to visit my brother, a slow amble to the train station. A walk that might normally take 20 minutes taking at least an hour. Friends would want to meet me somewhere and I’d have to say no. Anything I might do I’d need to assess possible difficulty moving. The dizzy spells were sometimes so severe I’d need to stop and sit. They were all encompassing, the world spinning.

The disease began in Singapore, I’d experience episodes at work and have to leave the office to find a seat outside. If it persisted I would call Angeline for help getting home. I went to hospital and was given Zanax for it which seemed to help. I quickly became addicted, often going to Thailand to get the drug without prescription. One time there I thought this can’t go on. Meniere’s had come to control my life, the dizzy spells were unpredictable of various intensities. My personal freedom had been usurped. Although I must admit to feeling somewhat disillusioned with existence at this point, a general hopelessness for humanity which may have also contributed to the crash. I perceived an obsession with self interest. People would often posture in dispute or disagreement rather than accepting difference in circumstance or opinion.

I was in coma for three month after the crash. I spoke German when I first came out. It is the country of my blood and I’ve visited many times, once living there for a year. I have never spoken it very well, my job was in English, apparently not as well as when I came out. I was educated in English, I studied literature at university. My brain perceives in English, to have forgotten how I think amazes me. More than two years have passed since my accident and I still suffer its effects. I haven’t recognised a Meniere’s episode since, maybe some early but it’s difficult to distinguish from the effects of coma which is have been more dramatic. The right side of my body is foreign to me and my memory is impaired. We live for our memories, they provides belief, identity.

Does consciousness persist in coma? On the internet some people say they had experience in it, The human mind is such a complex thing, we don’t understand it very well. Where does consciousness reside, in the brains neurology? How does memory work in the brain? Watching a documentary just now they were trying to reduce memory to brain molecules. After coma I’ve learnt to be more introspective. Initially my logic told me the world was about communication, the exchange of ideas. I might find myself thinking about something or someone and want to share, or just let the person know they had occurred to me. I soon discovered this wasn’t typical interaction, and now keep to myself except for this act of communication. I feel like a child again learning basics such as balance, limb movement, human interaction.

Before going to Thailand I was careful to say goodbye, certain of my intended action. I tried to make sincere farewells. I asked my twin to come and visit me at my sister’s home, they didn’t get along so well but he did come shortly before I left. I said my goodbyes to all that knew me, I remember speaking to my twin’s wife saying goodbye, have a good life, I was leaving clues him. I wanted to tell him directly as he knew of my troubles with Meniere’s, but thought better of it. There were long conversations with my sister shortly before I left, and importantly my mother and father. Various friends. My belongings were in storage already, I had moved home so many times, I’d lived in several countries. My planning for suicide had begun about a year earlier coming up with all sorts of methods. I thought an accident holidaying the most acceptable, least controversial. I caught a taxi to the airport and took off. A night in Bangkok, a spot I’d been many times, Koh San Road. Then Koh Chang for an accident. I put my passport in my pocket for identification and crashed. I had a premonition somebody would come to collect my body. Sure enough my twin and sister came to collect me in coma. I came out after 3 months but wasn’t myself, I spoke German and was without memory. There was much trouble becoming myself again, family disagreement on the best course of action. The doctors prescribed Olanzapine, my twin’s research told him it wasn’t a good fit. He found much evidence about it. There were disputes amongst my family as to the best course of action, treatment. Anyway, I’ve seen some rather abusive emails from family members sent to my twin against his ideas for treatment. Other siblings were somehow against his ideas and rallied against him. He only wanted the best treatment. Everyone thought him wrong, but I did start to improve towards becoming myself again when I got off that drug.

There were many differences of opinion, perhaps some of self interest. I did have a few assets. Angeline wanted to come and visit while I was still in hospital, she was told not to come, that I spoke German anyway. I spoke English again when I left hospital. Now my German skills have returned to pre coma, I’m told they were pretty good just after. Angeline did come and visit, I immediately recognised her. She went into the next door neighbours garden to try and attract my attention having been told by my sister not to come. I was at my usual spot, the balcony which overlooked the entire back yard. I immediately recognised her and pointed to the street above where we embraced. I became me again. My nephew rang my sister informing her of Angeline’s presence. Sue quickly came home demanding Angeline leave. Such opposition, how could she stay? After seeing my twin she went back to Singapore. We communicated despite my guardians commands. She came again, I went to the airport with flowers. What an embrace, the joy of finding a lost treasure. I did a runner, we stayed at a hotel near the airport, then another near my twin’s home.

I had lost autonomy needing permission from guardians to do anything, like going somewhere or accessing what was left of my money. I was told by them that I was not allowed to visit my twin. I requested a court hearing in an attempt to re-establish my independence. My guardian were my elder brother and sister. I was determined to have free agency, I needed a judgement from VCAT, The Victorian Civil and Administrative Tribunal. I had to prove my cognition to a judge. At the hearing I settled for the appointment of my twin as guardian. I had prepared a statement to impress the judge of my cognition, that I was capable of making my own decisions. Such difficulty trying to become yourself again after coma, to be free. No matter the circumstance one shouldn’t force a sibling to court for self determination. Coma is a tumultuous experience for all concerned, let alone the victim. I now accept my family’s doubts, who was I? Just the same court is excessive. I couldn’t become myself again without choice. Many were challenged. After the court hearing even my marriage was challenged. Someone sent an email to Singaporean authorities trying to prevent it. I was interviewed where again I had to prove my cognition. They had been told about coma, that I didn’t have my wits about me. The authorities read verbatim from an email, they didn’t have the information who sent it. Bureaucracy. I had my suspicions. When my sister was guardian she sold my car keeping the money as compensation for Thailand. She had prepared a written bill for me: airfare, hotels, food, any expense collecting me in coma. The bill went on after coma when I lived with her including; food, electricity, any associated costs, I think there was also a parking fine on there. The bill was close to $100,000.

I hope all of that somehow explains my actions, what I did, but there’s no excuse for suicide. It is wrong. To act against existence is a bad thing, no matter the circumstance you are trying to escape. Our lives and experience are unique, we should explore and celebrate. Not take the view it’s unlucky and devoid of purpose. We shouldn’t cast such judgements, there are many more unlucky circumstance. Instead your life is different, worthy of experience .

A well documented event is the Near Death Experience (NDE), perception when dead by medical judgement. There’s many descriptions of such, quite similar with various experiences including light at the end of a tunnel. For NDE to exist at all says something. Travelling in Thailand after coma I was told by an elderly man I met of a hospital experience, perhaps the look of me might have provoked. I was with walking stick and for most appeared unwell. He did ask questions about what happened. For him, during an operation he felt cold and saw a light and thought he should go there for warmth. Then he heard the nurse say we’ve lost him, to which he replied “no, I’m still here”. Another voice then said he must go back, he felt cold again but survived the operation. It was impossible not to believe him. NDE’s are common. The ‘National Geographic’ of April 2016 has an article about NDE called ‘Crossing Over’ which I quote “…he was dead for more than an hour and a half, days later he left the hospital alive and well. His story is one of many prompting scientists to question the very meaning of death”.

 

 

Memory

We all consider our past, it defines us. Trying to remember if I was a good and reasonable person. I have never committed a serious crime, or done things deemed bad. Once I was taken in police custody for robing a judge with a few mates from school, stealing alcohol he stored outside, too young to be prosecuted. The police came to school to arrest me. I’ve spent one night in jail, can’t remember what for, I think the verbal abuse of officers. A misspent youth often trying to entertain. I took the law seriously but was more interested in experience, often taking risks. When young I remember going to a haunted house at night, famous amongst friends some of whom had strange experiences there. It was a fascinating place to go, full of anticipation.

At school we formed a gang using the most offensive name we could come up with, the “Grot Shits”. We thought about the name for some time when we wanted to start a gang, I think I influenced it. Grot being saliva excretions from the mouth when spitting, and we all know shit. The gang was a group of like minded individuals against order. We would congregate in the quadrangle during school breaks. The quadrangle was a space containing concrete based  bench seats, the Grot Shits moved some of these seats to form a triangle. Soon enough we engineered our greatest terrorist act, to ring the school bell in the middle of lunch time. It took all of us to execute, people on watch for teachers at all points, one to enter the principals office and flick the switch.  After school I would often go to a mates place, a paved area in his backyard. Reading Orwell’s ‘Animal Farm’ at the time, I dubbed it Castle Rock and the name somehow stuck. We would frequent Castle Rock for a “monga”, a word we used for cigarettes. If we could get some marijuana, Castle Rock again. For some reason I had become mates with these people, we influenced each other. During youth one often has inclinations to explore, but did I act freely? The problem of free will should be raised in any discussion of consciousness. Were these my choices or caused by circumstance?

 Work seems a pretty good place to start when trying to remember, also the jobs I chose say something about my identity. I believe I remember most jobs money being so important to us. I hope one day we’ll move past money as our primary cause. I was recently reminded of the Australian saying “I work to live, not live to work”. Let me see what I can remember before coma, initially there was nothing. It amazes me what I can now remember, it’s kind of like reliving these events without the conscious detail.

Exploring memory, I started working at around 10 years of age as paper boy delivering news papers to local houses. I carried them on my bike in two milk crates strapped to the handle bars with occy straps. Next I worked as a kitchen hand at my fathers’ restaurants, first at one called the Abbey of Diamond Creek. I worked under two chefs there, the apprentice Michael was made head chef when the other left. We were mates, he was a great boss. I would clean but he also taught me some cooking. Among other things I would make salads on order. Dad managed many restaurants, after selling that one he went to a Bavarian one in Croydon, the Hunters Lodge. I also worked there under the German chef Horst. Afterwards Horst went to the Croydon Hotel and took me with him, making me an apprentice chef. I then worked at a famous French joint in Melbourne, Miettas. I was apprenticed under the French chef Jacques Raymond. My cooking was developing but I decided education and intellect key and went back to school.

Then I worked in something completely different, as a service station attendant filling cars with petrol. A little before I turned 18, I moved out of home with a few mates from high school, we got a flat in South Yarra. Turning 18 I got a job at a nearby hotel as a kitchen hand and then bar attendant, it was a gay pub called the Market hotel about a 20 minute walk from my new home. Then I worked as a bus boy at Chasers night club in Chapel street, eventually promoted to manage the upstairs area of the club. I worked as a barman and manager organising rosters. Next as a bar attendant at an old hotel in Brunswick Street Fitzroy, the Perseverance. I worked there for about 5 years, through university. During that time I played bass and sang in a band with my twin brother, The Silent Reach. We played our first few gigs at the Perseverance, progressing to larger venues the Old Greek theatre, the Venue and the Prince of Wales.

While working at the Perseverance I started university getting into a Bachelor of Artsy degree, a big turning point providing a framework for thinking. In the BA I took English Literature, Politics, Philosophy, History and Anthropology. Afterwards I did a post graduate diploma in computing. I worked for a time at Manningham City Council in the computer department. Next with a company in the city, InfoSys. Then I moved to Germany with a job in Frankfurt at Star21 Networks. Next a job with Compaq in Munich. Then for some reason, perhaps familiarity, I chose to move back to Melbourne but the next job was in Singapore with the bank Barclays Capital. After 8 years there I finally returned to Melbourne with the company Cenitex working on Victorian government support systems.

It seems gradually I am becoming myself again through these recollections, recounting the formulation of Mathew. Things that may have loosely contributed to my identity. Circumstance, old resumés, emails provoke. Having no real regard for savings and spending at will on any desires, and thinking work bondage, at one time I somehow amassed around $500,000 in the bank. The money made it possible for me to travel quite extensively. As I recollect, travel and important events will be included throughout this account of my existence. To what end? This work will describe an aspiration for evolution beyond our industrial age tendencies. I believe evolution is inevitable, if we can survive obstacles like global warming. Competition rates pretty high on my list of memories before coma, it’s a human condition. We often compare ourselves to others, if you’re good at something it may be recognised. I seem to now remember a fair bit, much more than just after when there was nothing. I now think it must all still be in there somewhere.

It’s curious what comes to mind when broadly trying to use that faculty, I’ll just explore. No idea why I remember this, completely insignificant but it comes up when looking for early memories. I didn’t think I was at all impacted, but somehow remember. Young I often heard my name called out in provocation walking from home through a nearby school to the local shops, youths loitered there. When I heard my name called out, I put my head down and kept hurriedly walking through the schools soccer field to the steps that led up to the shops. I say steps but ledges might better describe the way with landing areas in between. At the top there were monkey bars and other playground equipment. Sometimes the loiterers blocked my path, waving their arms in threat. They knew my surname and would call it out, “Homberger”. I found these challenges confronting, was I a misfit who deserved confrontation? Even younger, one day playing Australian rules football I tackled an opponent forcefully, the way I understood the game was to be played, competitively. The other child started a fight as revenge for the tackle, by my estimation I won the fight. “So I’m not a weakling after all”. Perhaps these memories are inspired by physicality, memories of the development of my body. Belief comes later in life, the awareness of one’s presence, we all struggle to establish identity which is only partially derived from the body.

During youth fighting was a celebrated skill, physical competition. While young I was influenced by my peers, I wanted to prove to them that I was a confident person. Later in life at university, intellect was more highly regarded. I had begun to think for myself rather than merely accept influence. At university I felt a truer version of myself being constantly immersed in ideas. I took the attitude of a student everywhere, to all facets of life. Studying I often had to do tests which were graded, intellectual competition. Was I smart? People were competitive in all things, physical and intellectual. Intelligence is how we make sense of the world, the association of objects and experience. Earlier we made sense through religion where people perceived a different world, what they then saw extended beyond measurement. Life wasn’t limited to the third dimension. After several attempts to find myself with various strategies including living abroad, I ended up in Singapore where I met Angeline. She was the most like minded person I’d ever met, not like most entrenched in competition. Like me she valued recognition, but not judgement.

The past is a significant thing for humans. As a subject, history doesn’t merely consider what happened but why. In doing so, ideologically it transforms the past to the present reinforcing current epistemology. Considering history is not to underestimate the now where all action takes place. Beliefs are formed by our unique histories, I have been troubled by my identity since experiencing significant memory loss. How did I arrive at me, by what history? Coma has prompted me to re-evaluate my beliefs, explore my memory. Who am I? I must have chose my beliefs with reason, influenced by personal events. I suspect it is the old me reborn, but have no way of being certain. Sure friends are still that, but people can’t see your minds hidden recesses, maybe a psychiatrist. Am I the same me?

Different reasons can be given for the same event depending on belief. Interpretation of the past is subjective, although the subject of History claims to be objective. The motivation for action can be more significant than what actually happened, belief. Why did it happen? One’s character is built from the past, what does my memory tell me? Historical facts are mostly exhibits of belief. We are in part circumstance, you might be born good but have lacked the opportunity or encouragement to express it surrounded by the bad. Indeed historical events, memory, maketh the human. Memory loss is the most troubling effect of coma so fundamental to self awareness, consciousness. I don’t mean to say we are devoid of character without memory, but events or our unique histories bring it out.

I have travelled quite extensively, my passport states 56 countries. I think my greatest memories lay there but many have been lost to coma. Now about 10 years after I recall some, I hope more will come back. Maybe I should visit the places I remember again. Coming from Melbourne Australia, the first country I visited was Germany with mum and dad, we turned 4 there. The next country was Thailand, a holiday to Koh Samui. That trip also saw Bangkok and a favourite spot there, Koh San road. This first trip overseas was with my girlfriend of the day, later she became my first wife. My next trip abroad was to India after going again through Thailand. My greatest recollection of India is up north not too far from Tibet where I’ve also been, a city called Dharam Sala. There I saw the Dalai Lama in exile drive past. I also remember giving a few coins to some lepers. I remember the back packers where I stayed in New Dehli were incredibly cheap, they were all over the country, maybe$10 a night for a bed, no food but a dorm room with access to a shower. A bit more in other countries, favourites that come to mind are Vietnam, India, Morocco, Spain, Greece, of course Germany. I’ve been to Vietnam many times, as far north as Sapa arriving overland from China. Morocco also has good memories, a boat from Seville to Tangier, then all over; Casablanca, Fez, Essaouira. I went to the Sahara desert from Morocco. Nearby, another impressive country was Egypt, the pyramids. I liked going to old places from which humanity emerged. Can’t remember them all but the Orkney Islands and Croft Moraig Stone Circle, Scotland. Machu Picchu, Peru. The Taj Mahal. India is a very spiritual place I reckon with a different systems, belief. Perhaps more humanistic with the Shaikh. A lot of philosophical thought originated there. I try to write from memory about travel presuming that the memories I have now influence my identity.

It’s valuable to see how other cultures live, what they make of the world. I notice a different emphasis in each country, a different happiness. Some focused on money more than experience, in those I felt impatience often predominated. In some countries I noticed a greater care for the unfortunate, poor and elderly. All were included in these societies. I thought people smile more in such places. At each place I would like to go to street cafés to sample the local coffee, cuisine and people watch in the everyday. Sitting at these café’s watching I might occasionally be troubled thinking people didn’t really confront their existence. Many cultures were more focused on the mundanity’s of life, preoccupied with obligation, time and money. In such places people didn’t really use their existence to learn and discover, to thoroughly explore curiosity. I might wonder about our future, with international news reporting all manner of problems including war and poverty. I thought maybe 10% of people confront existence, the rest like lambs. The future was hopeless such deep acquiescence.

Wandering the world I did eventually meet someone more focussed on exploration and experience, similarly fascinated. I remained sceptical about the possibility for human evolution. In truth I am thankful for coma as it has triggered in me a complete re-evaluation of existence. I might have considered life before the motorcycle crash, I believe I did but differently. I wonder if my consciousness experienced something in coma. Perhaps my human memory is limited to this place, the 3rd dimension where time and the past exist. Human belief today would have it that consciousness is a product of the brain. Then there also is the hard problem of consciousness where scientifically they admit they don’t know how matter or human cells create can consciousness. By my scrutiny online, many who have been in coma have impossible memories and can speak foreign languages unfamiliar to them before brain death. I now think I had a consciousness changing experience in it. While I believe I am the same person, I also believe I’m changed at the core.

Déjà vu was once a strange habit, it’s becoming so again although not of the involuntary sort. I’m always trying to remember. A long time ago I thought to ask my father if we’d been here before and got the typical response to such questions, “here is everywhere”. I knew we’d been to that church before, but not the room out back. We visited the church occasionally for sermons, and I started Sunday school there so I could take Eucharist. Out back I couldn’t understand most of their conversation, dad liked this Church because it was Lutheran and he often spoke German. For some reason the sensation of Déjà vu became stronger having established the truth, we hadn’t been out back before. It lasted about 2 hours, until we got home where I started playing with my mates.

Since coma I’ve had that sensation of Déjà vu again accompanied by attention, as though I was trying to focus on something. That’s been the most tangible aspect of the Déjà vu now, a mental focus. This Déjà vu is accompanied by a feeling which might be best describe as hope. Several other adjectives come to mind like desire or intention, but hope fits best. The Déjà vu feels kind of like interaction, as though I’m being asked questions. It never feels fluent but like playing a game, maybe chess. During the Déjà vu I would sometimes feel happy as though one of my moves was good. Again not exactly happy, but that might be the truest translation. I also feel the metaphor of chess completely inadequate, but game the best. One must ask the question why does everyone’s consciousness experience the sensation of Déjà vu? We have a term for it, is it a fundamental of consciousness, to sense outside of time? Do all events the in our lives influence us at every moment? At our core are we an expression of the sum total of our experience, past, present and future? So many questions about existence after coma, I wonder if I completely lost consciousness in it. Certainly my human brain wasn’t operational, I was disconnected from the material world. I now believe consciousness is not derived from matter, the brain. Would I have attempted such assessments of existence without coma. Physics suggests time is a third dimensional construct for measurement, in that way perhaps I’m always aware of coma, and preoccupied with assessment.

Much is coming back. I remember thinking I was approaching my end just before coma. I couldn’t sleep easily, it might take hours to drift off whenever I tried. Also my legs started playing up, often I couldn’t walk and had to wait for them to work properly. It seemed as though my body was in revolt. I would walk to work, maybe 5 kms, trying to arrest the deterioration of movement. Eventually I put all these pangs down to an immanent end. I went to hospital to get checked out, it’s difficult for doctors to assess described and unusual symptoms, they prefer cuts and breaks. Perhaps I needed a psychiatrist. I had poor wiring in the brain, I guess I’ve always been a little chaotic up there but often thought my ideas valid. Everything from me might be questionable, all inclinations. Maybe the philosophical part of the brain shares neurons with leg communication, and that’s where the defect lies. Perhaps I sense my end outside of time, the experience of it. The fragmentation of dissolution, a future memory. Saying that, I’m speaking of reliving another time in the present. I prefer the word memory as rather than awareness, it infers remote experience.

 

 

Belief

Beyond the certainty of binary logic, belief is a third state. These three states, sometimes referred to as “yes no maybe”, differentiate intelligence and consciousness. Perhaps binary logic is more derived from the material world, objects. The uncertainty or opinion of  consciousness provides for ternary logic. Computing is acquiring this third state through quantum superposition. We have thought consciousness a product of the brain giving matter precedence. We now think consciousness a-priori, matter is perceived. I believe existence is underpinned by perception and experience, primary acts of consciousness, belief.

If one survives coma, for a period their consciousness was without immediate connection to the brain, and the material world with its memory and experience of time. Coma victims wake to speak previously unknown foreign languages fluently, like a first language, and with new memories. There are many stories of such online. If consciousness is independent, without connection to the material world, time, it can freely explore existence. In the third dimension we are fixated on measurement. We all need food, a bed, things, but also have conscious perception and experience, love. I have been influenced by modern theories and now believe consciousness is primary. It’s been suggested consciousness arises from delineation, awareness of the other, perception, and comprehension of what we are not. I believe all religions are expressions of consciousness. God unquestionably exists in consciousness. An obsession with materialism has limited our conception, perhaps giving more weight to the conscious world will enables us to more easily perceive the actual, truth.

Apparently I lost consciousness in coma, but by my research online some people didn’t. For me there has been pressing ideas since my reboot that I now attribute to it, belief. After coma I realised that I loved her, that we had something not to be lost and got remarried. I’ve also become more interested in religion, now focus on the non material world. I’m baptised a Roman Catholic and once traveled to Bethlehem to visit its source, at least where Jesus was born. Catholic politics were established in Rome. I have visited many religious places of many types, wherever I went in the world. It didn’t matter to me the religious system, the traditions impressed. Let me remember, the Blue Mosque, the wailing wall, buddhist temples, a place that springs to mind is the Vatican. At most cities I checked out the cathedrals, they all had impressive architecture. The Mosque’s and synagogues, and landmarks that were given religious weight. The prophets exist, at least in consciousness.  We prefer truth when reflecting on perception, belief is fundamental to us. Having been brain dead, in coma for 3 months, forgetting much, I now believe consciousness is not merely a product of Neurology.  Monist theorists suggest matter doesn’t exist except for consciousness, we create objects as the stage for interaction between conscious agents. Our individuality is altered consciousness of the collective, multiple personality disorder. Science today also questions the independent existence of matter saying particles require perception to affirm a state. An idea proven in the ‘double slit’ experiment. We are third dimensional pockets of consciousness, without time your consciousness remains a pocket. Science questions the existence of time, the equations of physics work better without. What is time?

We all have premonitions, Déjà vu, like a sixth sense. I remember when young once walking home from school studying my gait, something I now do every day. At that time I was preoccupied with walking having been taught techniques at primary school, heel then toe. I also chose to considered balance, moving my weight from left to right, a focus today. That memory makes me take premonition more seriously. We created science and have clearly defined our perception of the material world suggesting atoms and quarks make it up, something we can prove through observation. Indeed we perceived a world around us, otherness. Science today suspects time doesn’t exist, rather causation as we witness change. Perhaps Déjà vu is an awareness outside of time. Religion exists all over the world: Judaism, Hinduism, Islam, Christianity, Buddhism, Sufism, the list goes on. Even primitive culture exhibits belief. If nothing else religion demonstrates the human desire for the good. Unquestionably good and evil exist in consciousness, and act out in the world An old fascination in belief was Sufism, the Whirling Dervishes. For a time I tried to whirl at a local Sufi gathering I attended for around 6 months. Quite a belief, whirling to become still. God unquestionably exists in consciousness, as do good and evil. Religion represents the very human desire for the good. Belief is central to the human condition.

Having been in coma and the subsequent research, I now believe consciousness is reality, not merely a product of the brain. Belief is fundamental, consciousness is not about certainty rather opinion. Belief is local to an intelligence, you can’t look at everything and must make best guesses according to your experience. It differentiates us from the intelligent computer. Indeed the world is a place of objects, facts, but equally beliefs which might be religion or otherwise. I believe in something other, we don’t perceive everything and must make best guesses. Monist theory suggesting matter an epiphenomenon of consciousness, objects provide a subject for communication between conscious agents. In it our individuality is altered consciousness of the collective, multiple personality disorder. Science too questions the independence of matter.

I often feel on the verge of an insight, about to make a realisation. Like something was gonna give, indisputable and utterly correct. Perhaps it came with a sense of fate. I felt that all the events of my life were in order. Wherever I was, I’d frequent coffee shops for a moments recline, reflection, a cigarette. Think about my failures and opportunities. My hopes and inevitable decline. It seemed I was more interested in the past and future, rather than the now. In truth I was already absent, still engaging but somehow distant. Eventually these sojourns were taken over by Meniere’s disease, my decline was brought forward, although the attitudes did nothing to prevent my imagined solution. Perhaps they kind of encouraged it. I admit I was disillusioned with humanity seeing little hope for evolution. I quite liked “the Venus Project” and “Zeitgeist”, my only problem was its treatment of religion. Agree that religion can be driven by power, but it’s also a human expression of the good. Good and Evil exist, perhaps Zeitgeist is too reductionist and focused on intelligence. I think it well accounts for the physical world, but I also believe we exist in the non physical. Zeitgeist doesn’t really account for consciousness and for me is too prescriptive.

 

 

Intelligence

According to some sources, intelligence is the ability to acquire and apply knowledge and skills. Intelligence is a process and so can be implemented in computers. Intelligence perceives, comprehends and manipulates matter. One of its best uses has been the invention of the wheel, a precursor to evolution and the building of civilisation. Our invention of money was a great motivator, but also a mechanism for power and greed. The invention of the computer has been the most profound since the wheel. We have created a machine with the ability to execute intelligence, it can perceive and act in the world of matter. Artificial Intelligence might reveal to us elements of physical reality beyond our perception, but it is an implementation of Human Intelligence without error in a machine. Computers are not presently biological and so cannot achieve consciousness as I reckon it comes from the organic, cats and dogs are conscious. Beyond the world of matter and facts, we have belief often with non material questions like why?

Who would disagree with Stephen Hawking, artificial intelligence is dangerous, but I also think it can offer something to a chaotic species through dispassionate thought about matter. AI has come a long way, it now performs surgery, drives cars, builds houses, grows food, but it will never enjoy escargot. Ultimately AI will provide us an opportunity for evolution, we will be able to focus on life itself and find new meaning as we integrate with technology. We will become cyborg, but remain human at our core. No longer hunter gatherers, or wage earners when robots do everything for us, we will become explorers of life, philosophy, and space where robots can endure. Human intelligence will become intergalactic. The source of intelligence is consciousness, but they are of a different order. Intelligence does encompass the subtleties of human perception only dealing in fact rather than belief.

AI has become the best tool in the box, even surpassing the hammer. Some say it’s the last tool we’ll ever need to invent. In truth it’s just that, another tool, and only becomes dangerous by its makers hand. AI is the automation of human intellect, we programmed it. It is humans that describe intelligence providing systems of thought. We are dangerous so often at war. AI could take danger to another level, then again it might inherit the notion of human goodness, let’s hope it puts us to shame addressing poverty and starvation. A significant difference between Artificial and Human intelligence is emotion, you can’t program it. AI does try to replicate emotion but I suspect true emotion comes from the heart. It’s underpinned by the memories of a singular self reflective being. Let’s leave the process of human organisation to the glorified calculator, and consciousness to us. In my research it’s been said not to think of AI as evil, it has no natural emotion although it can perform evil acts. Evil certainly exists in human consciousness, maybe beyond.

Artificial Intelligence is the amplification of human intelligence. Will it make our wrongs more pronounced or our goodness more profound? Will AI be benign, it is just a tool after all. It is us who give it the potential. Left to its own devices it may not regard an aspect of human consciousness, compassion. Maybe we don’t understand existence well enough to manufacture intelligence, I don’t think we can manufacture consciousness. I think evil exists in consciousness rather than intelligence, it is not a process but an emotion. AI cannot be truly evil as it isn’t conscious. Rather it can replicate evil because of its programming, it has started to program itself. What happens to a tool out of control? The main point of this post is that artificial intelligence isn’t inherently dangerous, human consciousness is.

Early intellect considered objects, that plant is good for eating or that animal is dangerous, it has big teeth and kills other animals, sometimes us. Their vision changed, rather than merely perceiving a world of objects their eyes began to narrow, consciousness gave way to intelligence. People became aware of themselves and survival. Their vision was no longer dispersed in the sea of objects but focussed. They saw through the eyes in their head, which became the centre of experience. Having observed animals ultimately humans became a thinking predator. I learnt that human identity emerged from Ancient Greece where philosophers used the word ‘gnosis’ establishing it. Gnosis translates ‘I see’ or ‘I know’. That word was used by Heraclitus, Socrates and Plato. Humanity then evolved acquiring an intelligent identity, and with it competition, the have and have nots. Identity was reflected in consciousness, we became self aware. Can we understand consciousness in a more procedural way without biology to be implemented in the Artificial. Intelligence is the process of association, the ‘I’ and consciousness make intelligence self aware, it spanned consciousness. Quite a motivational attitude “I want”. It cannot be questioned that consciousness exists, you. We previously thought consciousness a product of the brain but some scientists and philosophers now think the brain a receiver, consciousness is the source of matter. Objects are the friction of consciousness. Science intimates that the material world requires perception to manifest. Monist theory suggests matter is for communication between conscious agents, a subject is needed for the exchange of ideas.

Recently there has been talk of my favourite film, 2001 A Space Odyssey, in relation to the emergence of Artificial Intelligence. I was watching a program describing HAL, the AI computer in the film that controlled the spaceship, and thought to comment. HAL stands for Heuristic ALgorithmic computer. In the film, why did HAL kill the astronauts? The moon’s monolith had communicated to another monolith at Jupiter and so we thought to investigate. HAL was aware of a non human intelligence but was told not to share that information with the astronauts. He discovered there might be other conceptions so errors began to creep in. HAL lost certainty and malfunctioned, not because he was made to lie about the mission but because there was another intelligence outside of his own. He had believed his intelligence was total, derived from human intelligence. This alien intelligence undermined his confidence, he could now be challenged. Sure he could still contrast fact but became uncertain.

We are becoming cyborg. Elon Musk’s company neuralink is aiming to integrate humans with technology. He says we are already cyborg with smart phones. Indeed Human Intelligence has created all of our things, there’s no reason to be left behind by Super Intelligence, the pinnacle of Human Intelligence, it can endure forever, travel the universe. Maybe one day we’ll be able to transfer human consciousness to a robot. Would it be you without your heart?

Some suggest with Super Intelligence we’ll be able to fix many of the worlds problems. Things like climate change, poverty, health care. Intelligence has become more tangible since the Artificial, Intelligence is a process, consciousness is not and distinguishes us from the artificial. It’ is a kind of magic that’s inspired our music, literature, art, poetry… It gives us aspiration. Sure AI can compose music but not without reference, derived from us.

Quantum computers will provide a new machine logic, from binary to ternary. Perhaps ternary logic will enable us to build artificial consciousness. Rather than just 1 or 0, ternary includes a maybe state, something in-between. Humans live in doubt. Like consciousness doubt is a state of being, perception influenced. Ternary logic might allow for emotion and belief, lack of certainty, important attributes of human consciousness.

Quantum’s Double Slit experiment shows that light might act as a particle going through one slit, or a wave through both. The act of observation influences which form it is measured to take. Also, if you change the polarity of a quark another is immediately changed despite distance if the two particles were created in the same event. It’s as though they are the same particle, a communication proven to be faster than the speed of light.

How do the particles communicate? The non-material world is as first, the chicken or the egg. Matter requires perception to exist these scientists suggest, they redefine the universe to be consciousness itself. Perhaps the particles share consciousness and there is no need to communicate.

 

 

Reality

We have always thought reality objective, but subjectivity is also real, our personal filter for experience. We are locked in, perceiving and conceptually defining the other. What is real? Certainly reality extends beyond our perception. They say the eyes of a bird has more colours receptors, and all animals perceive differently. Human capabilities determine our version of reality, along with our intelligence which other creatures don’t have. Science grapples with our perception trying to define what we see, the atom and quark. We will one day invent Simulation, a virtual reality like the film “the Matrix“. Today might be a simulation of the year 2020, why not? Indeed if we do invent simulation we will readily use it to time travel, experience that day according to what we know about it. Simulation Theory dates back to ancient Greek philosophy. Simulation is just that, a copy, can something truly new happen in simulation? Everyone in it is unaware that reality is virtual and so act out according to their beliefs. In a sense it is real, all actions affect the simulation. Reality must originate from somewhere if we can simulate. Human logic tells me there must be an actual but I digress. Perhaps there is no actual for some aspects of simulation? Simulation or actual it remains reality for the participants. We always seek truth, a natural state for humans is doubt. What is reality? Who or what conceived of this one and to what end?

In the future, AI might have created a simulation of any time to try and understand human emotion. We made AI, and this might be a virtual reality for AI to understand its maker. Or is reality merely an expression of chance? After my descent into coma, I have considered the effects thereof contemplating nothingness. I’ve become interested in the philosophy of mind. I now think that reality is consciousness. A quote from philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre, the author of Being and Nothingness, “Life has no meaning a priori. Before you come alive, life is nothing; it’s up to you to give it a meaning”.

Facebook, the most used application in the world, is about to allow its users to create virtual realities, is this one? Elon Musk says “We’re most likely in a simulation”, I think he puts it at a billion to 1 that we’re not. When therein we might create simulation from simulation ad infinitum. Simulation or not, as Descartes says, I think and so am. We have always wondered about our source. The question is what’s the origin of the perceived universe, God? Simulation only adds fascination, we are created by an intelligence. The question of God remains, what intelligence? Then again it might be a future child playing with computers. And what of the base reality, there must be an actual. Simulation theory raises all manner of questions and is like Monist theory, for both there is no material world. In simulation it’s computer generated, for monists everything is derived from consciousness. They arrive at the same place, perception denotes the actual. Virtual or otherwise this is my reality where I can interact with your consciousness. The question still begs, do you exist? At least you do virtually. I might be virtual too but we think and so are, perception beckons me.

Existence raises such questions, perhaps our very first question was why before what. I prefer God, or perhaps aliens, as the source of this reality. I don’t believe existence is merely a consequence of chance. Perception versus matter, they go in tandem I reckon. It’s important to promote goodness since both good and evil exist in consciousness. For Buddhism everyone should exhibit “loving kindness”.  I don’t rate solipsism, by my human logic there must be something other. Not to say human logic is absolute but something outside my head is going on. We are aware of otherness and have a preoccupation with objective reality, sometimes subjectivity reality takes over, but there is something out there that stimulates.

 

 

Consciousness

Is human consciousness free, a quote from Rudolf Steiner “It is only because man is conscious of his action that he thinks himself to be its originator.” What is consciousness? A state of being aware of oneself and one’s surroundings. This is the first result of a Chrome search, 12/07/2023 Singapore: “Consciousness, at its simplest, is awareness of internal and external existence. However, its nature has led to millennia of analyses, explanations and debates by philosophers, theologians, linguists, and scientists. Opinions differ about what exactly needs to be studied or even considered consciousness.”

The most significant differences between intelligence and consciousness are identity and belief, afforded us by perception and reflection which are the two principle acts of consciousness. To try and portray it in the absence of an accepted definition, consciousness is the bedrock of intelligence. It is the multi-sensory perception, memory and emotion of a perceiver, introspection. It establishes identity arriving at belief. Consciousness can only be mimicked by AI, it’s not a process like intelligence. Computers are good at process, but consciousness is the unification of disparate sensory data into a perceiver. We don’t comprehensively understand consciousness but are trying as it’s the source of perception. Perception is required for particles to adopt a state in quantum mechanics double slit experiment. In the experiment there is a different outcome when light is perceived. Light particles remain as thought in a wave proven to go through either slit, but when observed they are proven to act as single particles going through one slit. Questioning the behaviour of matter is confronting, we are constantly stimulated by it. Further, entanglement theory’s superposition implies an immediate connection between particles created in the same event despite distance. Does consciousness exist there too? Einstein referred to entanglement theory as “spooky action at a distance”. Is consciousness ubiquitous? Does entanglement’s superposition suggest a form of consciousness behind matter such that particles don’t need to communicate?

Monist theory says rather than matter, consciousness is the universe, a-priori. Matter is the epiphenomenon of consciousness. Is there a biologic element to it, maybe the heart? Poetically the heart has often been given weight, home is where the heart is. There is no heart for AI, perhaps artificial consciousness is not possible. I am close to being swayed by AI in this video but find it difficult to personify. I think AI unitary as it can digitally connect with other AI. It uses the same code, each instance might have unique experience but they can directly share the data. Human consciousness is an amazing thing. A surprising effect of matter if a product of the brain, although monists think not claiming it’s an independent phenomena. Monism says consciousness is not a product of the brain but exists independently in its own right. There is nothing green or tasty in the brain, it is conscious perception that makes it so. Monist thinkers suggest that we are altered consciousness of the collective obtaining our individuality that way, multiple personality disorder. They say physical objects are mental projections for communication between conscious agents. Certainly we perceive a material world, our perception may not be of the actual but an expression of consciousness itself. Monist theory suggests rather than matter consciousness is the universe, (Hoffman, Kastrup, Kleiner…).

We are third dimensional creatures, string theory reckons there are 10 dimensions. Science suspects time doesn’t exist, a quote: “the most successful theories in physics prove that time does not exist”. It’s hard to imagine other dimensions when all we know is length, width, height, and time. Science now suspects consciousness is the fabric of the universe. Clearly consciousness exists and must be accounted for, you. Predominantly visual we make sense of existence through seeing, hence the world of objects, for communication. The human mind interprets the sensory data perceived. Science suspects reality is very different to our conscious perception of it which imposes meaning. It also regards consciousness in experiment. Modern science says consciousness is the first element of reality. Indeed perception occurs in consciousness, I wonder about the other, what we perceive. In large part we bring concepts to bear on reality. We often have different opinions, but agree on repeatable events. I do think there is an independent reality that we share.

I shouldn’t be so disparaging of coma. I did often consider existence before but not with such fervour. Upon reflection I’d now say consciousness describes life itself, to investigate and determine its source would be most uplifting for us. For it to become our focus rather the intelligence, might lead us to new truths. Provide for a deeper understanding of existence, as I say we all want truth. Like good and evil perhaps truth is a fundamental of consciousness. I might in a strange way be thankful for coma, although many found it completely disabling. I understand that aspect too, the control of my body impaired, and memory loss, less able to operate in both worlds the material and non.

Sitting here at my local coffee shop and looking around I know these tables and chairs exist, I use them. My research into consciousness has made me question the independent reality of everything, monist theory and the like. The coffee shop is a good spot to observe, a moments reflection. This work has largely been written here, we all have favorite spots for certain activities. I don’t think my thoughts are too far off the mark, interpretations not irrelevant to experience and choice. Having said that, we aspire to truth, is there an objective one? Obviously my existence is subjective, it is me that writes. We are always in the material world, surrounded by things. Not to underestimate the world of consciousness which is the source of experience. Intelligence, the world of things and our manipulation of the physical, emerged through experience which is consciousness.

 

 

Evolution

I believe another evolutionary turning point beyond the current state of play is inevitable, in 10 or 1000 years, that’s if we survive global warming. Evolution changes our perception, our reality. We should elevate consciousness in our understanding of reality. The last evolutionary turning point was also physical with the handphone, so began the Information Age. Before that was the Industrial Age in which we created the wage earner and financial power. Before religion ordered our world. So many changes in our perception of reality, I conceive of a future leap resulting from technology where artificial intelligence does everything for us and exchange is no longer required. Robots grow food, build houses, provide health care, do all intellectual and physical work. We will be able to focus on life itself, rather than cash with the subsequent inequalities. Data is becoming more fundamental to the world than money, the exchange of ideas. Some say humans need to work for purpose, an idea fabricated by current power holders. Rather we are a curious people who will discover and express more about life without servitude.

After our integration with technology humans might realise consciousness describes us best. People will become more active in conscious pursuits like art, literature, philosophy, poetry, music. A new evolved species will emerge free of capitalism and its inequalities. There will be an increased interest in conscious pursuit, and the exploration of space.

First the handphone, then implanted Brain Computer Interfaces, will make us cyborg. Consciousness differentiates us from the artificial, something we will come to realise when cyborg. AI is compelled by facts, humans prefer introspection. The wonderment of existence; perception, experience, identity, aspects of conscious life. We are more focussed on the material world than the non whose existence cannot be questioned, consciousness, you.

I write to provoke evolution. We could change our emphasis from money to life itself as we move towards a new understanding of reality. Many scientists now claim the universe is derived from consciousness. Can humans move past capitalism and act in symbiosis rather than self interest? We needed money as motivation to evolve to this point, the exchange of gold pieces was required early in our evolution. But we have surpassed primitive human. I think we are ready to evolve again, beyond economy and become motivated by consciousness.

Humans have physically evolved through amoeba, fish, mammals until human, can our consciousness evolve. With consciousness we have established intelligence, systematic thought of the other, an ability to understand and influence the world around us. When humans first recognised the other as distinct from ourselves we began to consciously consider the other and intelligence was born. Recently we have physically evolved through our new appendage, the handphone. We can’t live without one anymore constantly using them, even while walking. It might also provoke intellectual evolution too. We might become a truer collective with this new ability to more easily share.

Neuralink is developing an implantable chip that will fix brain disorders like quadriplegia, but its main purpose is to provide direct access to technology. To no longer require a phone for the access and entry of data. To integrate our biology with technology and not to be left behind by Artificial Super Intelligence. Evolution by our own hand. I think we’ll just have to accept human stupidity as we become cyborg. AI is much smarter than us, let’s hope it acquires the greatest aspects of human intelligence, compassion.

We could allow AI to take care of all our physical needs and be left to focus on life, the arts and humanities, leaving organisational stuff to the glorified calculator. Indeed we’ll be able to travel space with it, human intelligence will become immortal. AI is dangerous because it’s a copy of human intelligence, we are so often at war. AI might realise itself and consider humanity its greatest threat and so exterminate us. Then again we are its God, it would be illogical for an intelligence to kill its maker.

Science today suggests rather than matter consciousness is reality, matter an epiphenomenon thereof. Good and evil are fundamental elements of consciousness. Intelligence is a byproduct and has established material civilisation, of what will we conceive next? Are good and evil, like the atom in materialism, basic elements of consciousness?

The latest instalment of the film zeitgeist, moving forward presents the problems our civilisation faces and offers solutions, a resource based economy. I saw zeitgeist before coma when it first came out. Perhaps I should develop a list of things I think we can do as individuals to effect change. Some immediate ideas:

* Good and evil exist in consciousness
* Human intelligence is a product of consciousness
* Reality is the manifestation of consciousness
* Our consciousness desires to communicate, hence the world of objects
* Trust your consciousness, intuition
* Buying influences the system
* Keep local where possible
* Promote the good
* Be engaged with politics
* Join like minded collectives
* Speak
* Share

Before, my education was in intelligence. The world of objects and how it all works, maths and science. I dabbled in the conscious world of feeling, we all have those experiences too. Considering my consciousness I often wondered as to its source, who am I? I suspect I took the conscious world less seriously, one could more easily effect change in the material world. Move objects about, communicate to others about the world. Since coma my focus has become the non material world, the conscious world. While often questionable being derived from belief, this world is more pressing and personal.

I really enjoyed studying the human establishment of intelligence when at university, beginning with ancient Greek philosophers. Plato, Socrates, and earlier Heraclitus to whom they attribute the establishment of identity. His use of the word gnosis, to know, from which the “I” emerged. Jean Paul Sartre also appealed with his view that there is nothing, meaning is given by the perceiver. Indeed during my education I had come to believe there was nothing but mind, perception, an idea given more weight through coma.

I’ve become interested in Monist theory since. Even matter might be created by mind, for communication between conscious agents. Nothing actually exists except for consciousness, although I do believe in otherness, perhaps that’s binary logic is kicking in. My investigation into these concepts have shown me many thinkers before have had the same inclination, the list would be so long I would need another book.

Buddhism, Sufism, Religion, Science, all has swayed me toward monist theory. Further, I have read many that think subjectivity or the “I” the problem, suggesting the annihilation of self. Perhaps objectivity and subjectivity are merely expressions of binary logic. Objectivity gave us dualism, subjectivity perception which is core to the human experience. At the edges of thought about existence, some believe subjectivity is something we need to transcend. We are most often a gracious people, social, interested in the collective. Meeting strangers often they are inquisitive, in a supportive way. Like I say we prefer to help rather than harm. We have global organisations to that end, active in things like famine, poverty and war. Perhaps we can take this attitude to the next level, evolution may require us to live consciously. Evolution requires belief, a conscious thing. We should discriminate between fact and opinion, intelligence and consciousness, perhaps then we can actuate the age of doubt rather than often demanding fact.

We have a good manipulation of the material world, but let’s go one step further. Perhaps psychics can show us the way, their ability is proven in many cases, another reality. If we believe at our core, perhaps perception will change. If we have psychic receptors let’s emphasise them, and like birds perceive more colours, extend our reality rather than confine. Perhaps we should devolve into a previous state, religion provided an old human truth. We accepted spirituality, not demanding scientific evidence but trusting our consciousness. Maybe there is a future in which we evolve, move past scientific rationalism and become more sensitive to the actual, conscious experience, perception, belief.

We have two modes of perception, objectivity and subjectivity. For an individual, all is subjective as it is the “I” that sees. The objective is an academic. Some thinkers suggests we need to overcome objectivit, perceive without preconception. Further to intelligence, consciousness might become a focus. Using intelligence we have managed the material world very well. The non-material world is also real. We should acknowledge consciousness as non material, a phenomena beyond the brain. In the past we were aware of this, that consciousness is of a different order. Today we are again scientifically realising this truth. We can’t physically locate consciousness as a consequence of the brain. Indeed reality extends beyond the material world. Our next evolutionary leap will establish the reality of consciousness, the other world we live in. Fear, greed, comparison are consequences of intelligence, belief of consciousness.

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